'Physically' Unfit

Introduction: An aftermath of a record-breaking failure in Physics...and a result of years of sleeping during the Physics period to avoid mental discomfort.

A bright sunny morning; awesome atmosphere- a great day to study! So, I open my book and start reading the text patiently. I write something on my notebook and move back to reading the text. One hour later- I read the text, and I read it again. I raise an eye-brow in thoughtfulness, say, “anyway” and again write my notes. Half-an-hour later- I read the text. I scratch my head and pull my hair! Another half-hour later- I don’t read any further. I bang my head against my book. Scribble on my book and notebook in frustration. I’m in shambles! Haan so what subject am I studying? Ah! No prizes for guessing that. The world knows its physics.

Hatred for physics dawned on me when I was in Class 9. My teacher was as expressionless as Ajay Jadeja was in Khel. But she is a nice lady. She did not mind my regular classroom sleeping. In Class 10 and 11, I had a teacher , who has a beautiful Tamilian accent, fluency in wrong English and a voice so hypnotic that in those two years, I had hardly been awake for around fifteen classes. Once, if you believe me, she was teaching in the next classroom, and I fell asleep! I had always found physics so meaningless and unwanted, and these torturous years (which still continue in Class 12) have intensified my hatred. The physics class has become a concentration camp for me!

Physicists are an intelligent lot because they think what the world does not. Rather the world never bothers to think. And rightly so! Of course many physical discoveries have helped mankind a great deal, but some about which we are taught in details, have helped only the physicists in getting Nobel prizes. Take for example Sir Isaac Newton’s work with gravitational forces. An apple fell on him and left him wondering why it had happened. My question to Newton- why did you simply not eat it? Had you not seen any falling object before that? And today, just because of that damn apple which committed the grave crime of falling on Newton, we are compelled to learn equations that look so fictitious and concepts that fill your mind with imagination. The world had seen apples falling from trees, people jumping off tall buildings to committ suicide, but nobody felt the need to think about it. Even people wanting to committ suicide in that fashion knew they would fall down. Well, that’s why they went for it. So you see, Newton unnecessarily bothered himself (and now students like me) by discovering something that the world knew, but did not know. A lesson learnt from this example- Physics is something you know by birth. It’s instinctive; you need not be taught about it!

Next came his laws of motion. Law number 3- “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” Let’s take an example. You apply force on a wall, so the wall pushes you with the same force, but in the opposite direction (something like tit-for-tat). Newton, how amazingly have you personified non-living objects through this law! (the wall in this case). I always knew that if I push a wall, it wont move. I never saw the wall pushing me backwards. Even Newton did not. Yet he made such imaginary statements. Moral- Physics is an imagination!
Conclusion- Physics is imaginary and instinctive. Hence it has been proved that studying physics is pointless! Q.E.D!

So, my article ends here. As soon as I finish writing, I realise that my physics textbook and notebook against which I had just banged my head, lie next to me; ignored and unattended. My tired fingers (tired of writing this stupid article) try to re-open the book, but then I pause. After having made such an intelligent justification for not studying physics, am I barmy that I’ll start reading all over again- just to write another silly article?

With this I end a beautiful day, where I decided to study physics but ended up writing a justification for not studying it!

A Place to Be

Introduction: This poem was written in about ten minutes, so please dont mind some of those stupid sentences that I've used. The poem is an 'ode' to a place where I get ultimate comfort and relaxation!

"I wake up from sleep and go to that place,
Neither to read nor to see my face.
But to relax for a few minutes,
And to solve problems of numbers and digits.

It’s a place where my imagination thrives,
and I can have a hundred wives!
I may even possess some dangerous knives,
And with those I claim a thousand lives!

The place where I make beautiful compositions,
‘Tis also the place where I do meditation.
It’s a place where my mind works best,
And in silence and peace, I can quietly rest.

It’s the place where I fulfil my dreams,
About that place I boasted a lot, it seems!
Yet that’s where the world is explored by me,
My TOILET indeed is a place to be!"

Oh Cupid! That was Stupid!

Introduction: You often wish to do things, the result of which, doesn't matter to you. Good or bad, the result means nothing to you. It just helps you in knowing how things are and how they work out...ultimately the experience, inspires you to write! So there's creativity in every destruction...

"End of a two month’s wait and I was off to date.
Date a girl who’s hot, perhaps the sexiest in our lot!

The day was fine, the sun in full shine.
I signalled to her at four in the noon,
With a friend of hers, she approached very soon.
Seeing her come close, I got terribly scared,
To look into her eyes, I hardly dared!
My heart was beating at an alarming rate,
But being an impatient brat, I couldn’t wait.
I began the conversation with an stupid line,
Knowing she would laugh at the idiocy of mine.
I then expressed my feelings, of love,
By dispassionately proposing to her.
Off came her reply with such spontaneity,
as if against love she had some special immunity!
Apologies were made before she could get angry with me,
For being so damn silly!

A non-affirmitive reply, yet a moment of fun,
Hope this experience helps me in the long run.
Being an impressive flirt, that’s my aim.
Beautiful girls should faint on hearing my name!"

Sleeper Class

Introduction: In XI std, I had been the undisputed champion of classroom sleeping! I slept for almost two hours each for three consecutive days! Then finally, on the fourth day, I decided not to sleep and do something creative, and this silly poem is what I wrote!

"At a place where no teacher can peep,
I sleep, I sleep, I sleep

My sleep is more profound,
When the Physics teacher’s around
Her style of speaking hurts my ears,
And my sleep is prolonged for a few more years!
My eyes get closed, my mind starts functioning,
‘A bird, an animal’, this is what I’m imagining
A world of my own is made in my sleep,
At a place where no teacher can peep,
I sleep, I sleep, I sleep!"